there is a big wind in tucson today. i'm going to lay out by the pool! my legs are so dread white it's impossible to think about wearing shorts.

yesterday i made my famous casserole to take to work at the bar & it got rave reviews...of course! work was fine, i made it through though it's difficult for me right now slingin drinks & being around so many intoxicated people, esp men who say ridiculous things. i've always been able to be impervious to that sort of thing--unphased in a way--this is just a job that i do--but it's becoming harder to separate it out. it feels as if it's taking too much from me.


After a month of interior weeping
it occurred to me in times like these
I have nothing to fall back on
except the sun and moon and earth.
I dress in camouflage and crawl
around in swamps and forest, seeing
the bitch coyote five times but never
before she sees me. Her look
is curious, almost a smile.

The days are stacked against
what we think we are:
it is nearly impossible
to surprise ourselves.
I will never wake up
able to play the piano.


We are seeking genuine change, not denial. No one is the sole cause or to blame.

Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present. -Camus