my best angie dickinson

oh wow i cant fall asleep. been writing A LOT which makes me up & up at night all night. feel a tad old school: listened to every soul miners (sans 3 stones, my fav, i couldnt find it), jennifer nettles band, tori amos song i could find on youtube, was quite good for the insides. "got a cloud sleeping on my tongue / leave me with your borneo / i said / leave me the way i was before." reading helene cixous. the school of the dead is whew:

"when you are alive and writing you question yourself: am i writing? am i burning? [...] writing or saying the truth is equivalent to death, since we cannot tell the truth. it is in every way forbidden because it hurts everyone. we never say the truth, we must lie, mostly as a result of two needs: our need for love and cowardice. [...] i have respect for those writers who, in their lifetime, have approached that point where cowardice and courage are so close to each other they might fly into the flames if they were to say one word more. [...] i am not talking about religious people; these are poets."