thurs tucson / still i have heartburn / hold on to your hold on to your dreams

outside is magic, can be rain in tucson. i felt sad today. out in the backyard were chimes from another yard--something birdlike, something christmas. i put a santa hat on astrid today & hung our stockings, snow flakes from the doorway overhang & so we call it christmas 2010. i want to believe in magic forever. i want a magical life.


from 'loudilla, so the soil wont blow me away'

Tis so good it’s a healing beast to hold an offense, give it up. I showed him I could endure him. All the things like for the ball you get after it. But the horses myself there, the horses we give our arms full of light for the horses myself sold him down the river as for shoes for good schooling, my Hontas so long gone I can’t even remember the feel of your back, his hands in my hair. Everything I wanted has become something I had to get around like a fat house & situate there because this is living. For the ball & for the ball.