认知能力下降/痴呆症的人可以假装自己像某些人面前一样吗？

What's happening is known as 'Showtiming' or 'Showboating' and is quite common before dementia becomes too advanced. The elders put on a show or a performance for those they are trying to convince they're just fine, and are able to make small talk quite nicely, even able to convince some doctor's they're okay! My mother is the queen of such 'showtiming' and she's in the advanced stages of dementia these days. She's great with the 'don't you look lovely today and how is the family doing?' types of statements, but ask her a question and that's when the show is over. The small talk & social behavior is embedded in their muscle memory and shows up when needed, so that's what's probably going on with your folks.

当我父亲90岁时，他摔倒并摔断了臀部。他没有痴呆症。然而，当时我的母亲是87岁，当时在通往痴呆症的道路上很好。他们当时生活在独立的老年人中，但是由于髋关节事件后，由于流动性问题，爸爸需要辅助生活。因此，我将他们俩一起搬进了辅助生活。即使妈妈以痴呆的行为驾驶爸爸发疯，这一切都很好。在她折磨了68年后，他不想与她分开，他已经习惯了。10个月后，他最终逝世了，妈妈仍然活着，近95岁，现在住在同一AL设施的记忆护理区。

Anyway, here's an article on the very subject of showtiming:

https://coping.today/what-does-showtime-mean/

如果您搜索了主题，那么很多事情都会出现。

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.

OMG yes! My father does this thing with my sister on the phone where he just asks her "what's up with you" and she talks and talks and then calls me later and says "he's fine, I don't know why you keep insisting something is wrong with him." :)

My Mom is the same way. Although she is not suffering from any severe dementia she always covers up any problems when my brother comes to visit. I live with mom and I hear her daily complaints and witness her daily sadness. She will not address these issues to friends or family - only me - and I get the brunt of it.

I'm tired of her acting like she is just fine when she speaks to my brother or her friends. She say's I am her "confidante". I don't want to be her confidante. I want her to at least be honest about her medical situations with my brother.

有时候，每天的抱怨很难忍受，然后与她的朋友和家人聆听她的快乐。我觉得我自己正在接受所有这一切。

My mom could have won an academy award for her visits to her Dr. It was just unbelievable how well she could fool them. Then when she knew her ability to pull it off came...she refused to go.

在a word: definitely. As my mother declined I realized she was 'pretending' many routine activities, like sitting at the breakfast table 'reading the paper', etc. When I'd mention news items for conversation it was clear she had no idea what I was talking about, would conflate different details that revealed her mind was becoming essentially like 'Swiss cheese,' very sad but telling, helpful for understanding her true condition. Even her doctor stated she had fooled him, so good at 'covering up' her true deficiencies when in his office, 'performing' for him since going to the doctor was a kind of 'date' in her mind, where she got 'attention' from someone not her immediate family. It was bittersweet, because I knew she desperately wanted to stay in her own home, and to 'will' herself to be 'normal' when clearly she was not any longer, but her own stubborn denial and determination to remain 'independent' worked against her in the long run. She began having falls, then suffered a stroke which killed her (brain bleed) before she could be placed where falls and early death might have been prevented. When relatives would visit, mom would act 'just fine', while never letting them see her do much more than sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with them. I believe it is a 'survival mechanism' in a sense, even though it can work against a person. Have your siblings spend more time, or even arrive when not especially expected, (or take videos if feasible!) so they get a more 'unrehearsed' experience with your mother.

Yes. It's very real, and the more often you see the person the less showtime you get. As long as your sister's competent then she should be making the call, and the out of town siblings should be listenting to the in-town person.
你可怜的姐姐。
It's shocking that the out of town kids can't be more supportive and that they feel like they can tell their exhausted mother, at 81, to take some pills and handle it. And they need to stop second guessing the in-town sibling as well. Must be nice to not put in the time but be able to proffer expert opinions. They need to support getting him into care and let her try to have some peace, as she has to watch this debilitating disease take the soul and personality of the man she loves.
There are some articles out there, but I encourage them to look it up on the Alz.org website--plenty of threasds there! Here are a few:
You'll have to copy and paste them into your browser's search bar.
https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147551005
https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147533545
https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147556665

I called it "company manners." No one knew my mom had dementia for the first four years she had it, and she was so convincing that a visitor to her nursing home believed her when she told him she'd remarried just four months after my dad's death and 66 years of happy marriage. The visitor was so pleased for her that he put it in the local Rotary Club newsletter and the whole town heard about it. Needless to say, all hell broke loose at that point, and I had to do some major crisis management.

我希望理解情况严重性的当地女儿有POA。如果没有，她应该与父母和律师一起工作，以尽快订购他们的文书工作。然后，她应该尽快让父母辅助生活。这是一个很好的计划，谁在乎其他兄弟姐妹对此的看法。希望他们在决策中确实没有发言权。他们不知道每天发生什么。您姐姐现在需要休息一下。对于她来说，这显然太多了。

Cheryl44: What is occurring is known as 'showtiming.' Elders who are declining are oftentimes able to portray a 'role' for brief durations of time. This is possible because the individual witnessing this 'play,' if you will only sees the elder occasionally, making it seem VERY believable. The elder does this so that everything in their life remains STATIC, unchanged. Although my late mother only had normal aging at 94, she was able to 'showboat,' and many of her friends declared that there was nothing wrong with her. That was an untruth and the reason why had to leave my home 7 states away and move in with her.

Ask the "occasional visitors" to stay and take care of the parents for a week without the usual care by the daughter/sibling. The occasional visitors would soon get the clear picture. Of course, the daughter is not helping the situation when others visit since she is also tending to cover for mom and dad.

Since the caregiver is having problems with unresolved burnout, she should be the one to help make arrangements for her parents' care. Since the others are not part of their parents' usual care, it would be better from them to trust their sibling caregiver.

If needed, ask their usual caregiver to get mom and dad tested for cognitive and behavioral issues. Referrals to neurology and geriatric psychology may help to document these issues from a trusted, objective professional.