Feeling Used. Advice?

my brothers never called to see how Mom was and I never gave them daily updates. I hope you have POA for financial and Medical. If not, the one handling the finances, you may want to ask if you can get some help. Tell him/her that you, like everyone, needs time to yourself. Its slavery to expect someone to work 24/7. I bet just when you finally sit down, Mom is hollering for something. Its like constantly walking on egg shells. My Mom, when she was home, took a nap every afternoon. When she lived with me, once. I would have loved her going down for an hr or two.

I may email and ask that siblings to visit reminding them that you know no one there. I would also consider having Mom placed if she becomes too much.

如果您觉得您被使用了，那么您可能会被使用。我敢打赌，你的兄弟妈妈最艰难。那个试图取悦她的人，但永远无法。她可能会感到内gui。我敢打赌，您的一些兄弟姐妹有自恋的倾向。打赌他们试图保留其继承。最后，您会像他们一样多。不再因为成为所有关怀的人。我可能会告诉你的兄弟姐妹，您发现自己不在乎妈妈。因此，他们需要制定其他计划。 Maybe a nice AL or MC depending on how far into the Dementia she is. Yes, they probably won't like it and whatever relationship you had will be no more. But, was it all that great before? You didn't even live in the same state.

不要说（好吧，也许有点），但是您的同胞不知道他们应该检查您。但是，说真的，当一个人成为父母的照顾者时，感觉自己像独生子女并不罕见。SIB倾向于退后一步，只提供远距离的非建设性批评。

是否有一场家庭会议，同意您会把自己的生活连根拔起？如果不， ...

照顾父母并不一定意味着您是一个身体上的人。特别是如果您一开始就有很难的关系；它只会使您感到不满，而不是迟早。

This website is a good place for support and to help figure out questions like: Do you have legal standing to make financial and other decisions for Mom? Does anyone? Is it needed? Can you return to your life after setting up a care system for your mom? How is your health (physical, emotional, spiritual, financial)?

Wishing you well on your journey.

HI, sorry you're going through that and it isnt fair. I am going through similar too. Best thing I learned out of all this is to give yourself time to enjoy your Life. For example: Everytime I get a text or a call it's a Selfish Family member who has something they want me to do when they can do it themselves. They make sure I see they are living their Lives by sending me FB Messenger texts with pictures of themselves "enjoying life" on Vacation and they get a kick out of making me the on demand Servant when I have children of my own. They are married too but No children. Resolve to make time for yourself, don't put yourself on the back burner for anyone, or put you down and dump all the responsibility of caregiving on you. Sorry but that critical Brother of yours needs to get a reality check and be put in his place. You know your Brother best. Maybe tell him when he calls again with his critical comments; if he is so concerned, why doesn't he get off the phone and actually do his part to check on the well being of your Loved One too? You are a human being deserving of being treated with respect and you are the best judge of your and your Loved One's situation. Protect your loved one and yourself. The real depth of person's soul shows itself in ACTIONS and when it comes down to what's Important. Good Luck. Stay Safe.

我女ith you in this boat.

I have one sister. She does not communicate AT ALL.

她从不问妈妈怎么样，也不问我如何举起。

我感谢人们理解的地方。

这个论坛上的人的联赛已经过去了，目前正在您的鞋子中。我同意发送更新，无论是否征求。继续这样做。

当我负责MIL的照顾时，我这样做了。我不是POA，但有最大的时间去做，而且我知道我会比她的儿子做得更好；-)我几乎每天都会通过电子邮件将小组更新给她，从我开始帮助她直到她过渡到她设施。主要是因为我想确保有完全的透明度，以便在危机中没有人能回到我身边，说：“我不知道……”

我的电子邮件中的主题行是在层次结构中：“每日更新”，“ fyi”，“请阅读，不需要响应”，“请阅读和响应，请求输入”，“紧急阅读”等。他们没有可以选择“选择退出”更新。只是继续发送它们。我的更新仅包括“事实”，没有情感或自以为是的评论。没有被动/激进的滑动，即今天，妈妈去牙医。需要租用轮椅，需要2个人来帮助她进出椅子，与卫生师一起进出椅子。妈妈的牙齿不好，需要提取。”等等。每天发送更新，以便他们可以“了解”成为家庭动手的护理人员意味着什么。如果您到达燃烧的地步并想结束您的护理，他们不能说“我不知道……”您必须帮助他们知道他们是否愿意。这是他们的妈妈。这是非常宣泄的;-)祝福！