How do you all do this? I've had my sister a little over a month and I'm about to fall out from exhaustion.

This was very kind of you. Now, though, you need to shift the arrangements. You need to get help. And sleep. You are doing waaaay to much. What are your sister's needs? Is she recovering or declining? How long do you expect her to need care?

I can feel the vibes below of the sisterhood .. that husband better step up! (I agree by the way). But before I add to that, I want to look at your situation a slightly different way.

You have given your Sister a wonderful gift. Support, care, love, time, energy. Maybe it was well planned? Or maybe you saw the need & rushed in to help her. (I would hope I could help my sisters or them me in an emergency too).

So you are 1 month into the initial crises.. it's time to re-do the plan. To re-shape your gift.

您的医疗团队是否有任何迹象表明她需要帮助？例如，更短的时间为1-2个月，然后再回到自己的脚上？还是长途跋涉？需要考虑时间表。

下一个计划应该与你的姐姐在一起。她的意愿是什么？然后和她的丈夫和成人孩子。你姐姐的愿望有多少？谁可以或将会有帮助？例如，姐姐搬回家：Q1她需要什么水平的护理？Q2什么级别可以进行非正式的帮助？（您/枢纽/孩子/朋友）。Q3她可以负担其余的正式帮助（家庭护理助手）吗？

Then Sister & her Husband decide what they can afford. He may be overwhelmed. He may be scared. He may be a miser who won't spend a dime (I don't know). If she left him, are there assets, or a house to sell to fund her care? That might shake his wallet open.

When the caregiver goes down (heart attack, stroke, stress *seen it happen many times!*) it can cause a NEW crises. This sometimes means the patient must go into hospital until a NEW care arrangement is agreed on.

You can wait for that to happen, but please don't. Speak up now to her Doctor & family.

提出她获得所需帮助的方式，但对您来说更容易

You work 12-hour shifts at night and are the caregiver to your sister during the day.
How long do you think you'll be able to keep that going before you actually have a heart attack? And your son has to watch her too?
What's your sister condition that she needs "watching"? That usually means dementia of some kind. Her husband doesn't want to watch her anymore so dumps her off with you and your son. No way.
那是她的丈夫，他们是否有良好的婚姻真的没有区别。他对你姐姐有义务，他必须对此做好。如果这意味着将她放在护理设施中，或者向您付款，那么在您家外面的帮助就可以到您家了，那就这样吧。
You have to stop being your sister's caregiver in your home. Her family will never take any responsibility for her if you continue to be their solution.

It's a month that you have seen what your sister needs. Is your sister there to recover and return to her home. Can you revisit the caregiving responsibilities with your sister's family? Call a family meeting and delegate what needs to be done. If they don't step up to the plate, is it at a point where you will need legal guardianship to help with making decisions for her.

Have you considered asking him for wife support? I mean, is her money and his still being used to pay for things at a house she can't live in? A little cash tossed your way would cover some in-home help for you while you sleep during the day.

If you're ok with her in your house - ok, but her husband and children need to be doing something to help while she lives in your home. And if one cent of her money goes in to an acct that her husband has access to, change it immediately

你什么时候睡觉？您的工作表现一定会受苦？

I know someone whose D was killed by a driver who fell asleep on the way home from working an overnight shift.

He no longer WANTS to care for her?? Well, he has a problem because if they are still legally married in most states.... caring for her is his legal responsibility. I get that you love your sister but this burden you have set up for yourself is going to kill and then what happens?? And your poor son has gotten wrapped up this also.... he needs to be able to live his own life too. Tell retired hubby he can "man" up and figure out what is best for his wife. He can call his state department of health and they will give him some resources. Then deliver her to his doorstep.

我和女儿在这里。这是给你姐姐的家人弄清楚的。她是她丈夫的责任，他必须弄清楚事情。

当然，您必须意识到这是不可持续的。您自己的健康受到威胁。与姐姐的家人交谈，让他们知道需要一个新计划

您在您的个人资料中说，您姐姐的丈夫不再想照顾他的妻子，您的姐姐，所以现在您带了她，您在没有家人的帮助下工作了。难怪你精疲力尽。您正在使用并滥用您的姐妹家族。我确定你爱你的妹妹，但她不是你的责任。她是她的丈夫的责任，如果他不关心她，那么他要找到适当的设施让她去。
You are making it way too easy on him, to skirt his responsibilities. If you're not careful, you will be the one needing to be cared for, and then what?
您需要让耶稣与您的姐夫见面，并告诉他您不能再成为您的姐妹照顾者，并且您将这一责任归还给他的属于他的属于他的姐妹。