您如何第一次留在他的新“家”上？

I feel for you. I had to take my husband to memory care in July of 2020, he passed away in Aug 2021. It was without a doubt the hardest thing I ever had to do, I felt like I was deserting him. But deep down, I knew it was the best thing for him to keep him safe. I cried for months, visited daily, sometimes twice a day. Luckily he really didn't comprehend where he was even when home, never mind in memory care. He thought I lived there with him and I told him I was going to the grocery store when I had to leave. It got easier with time, a long time...but I know in my heart it was the only solution for him. I got very close to the staff because I was there so much and he got great care, maybe because they never knew when I was going to walk in. Take it one day at a time and visit often. Sorry you are going through this, its rough.

Here's how to handle the family members who are giving you grief. Tell them they are more than welcome to take your dad into their home and be 24/7 caregivers. Funny how they'll criticize you but never offer to step in and help. Their opinion means little if they don't step up.

You're not "saying goodbye and leaving him in the hands of strangers". You're not going to walk out the door and never come back! It'll be difficult in the beginning, but it gets easier. Like when a parent takes their kid to kindergarten the first day. You're saying "see you later" and the teachers may be strangers to you. You may miss your kid during the day. But you know the school will call you if they need to, and will keep an eye on the kid. If you truly thought your kid was in danger at the school, you wouldn't place them there! Before long, your kid is settled in a new routine and so are you. It'll be okay.

所有压抑的内gui感被数十年历史了，当家人不得不将年迈的父母带到他们的设施远离他们时，就会开花。这种现象很普遍。但是，不允许这些情绪模糊逻辑和实际决策。一个非常古老的父母的居住地应该满足舒适和安全的基本条件。在那个年龄，较小的豪华细节没有好处。没有什么可以阻止最终结果。我本人89岁，有一天我最终会进入一个老年护理设施。我唯一想要的是它具有最低限度的舒适性和安全性。在不必要的特征上花钱将是浪费。垂死与出生一样自然。 It's the law of nature from which there is no escape. Money won't change nature's law. Stop feeling guilty, go ahead with a logical and the most economical plan. Your father won't know the difference.

How do you do it, like you would a child. We told Mom she was going to a new apartment. We got her there, got her settled, stayed a few minutes and then told her we needed to leave. My daughter said she had to go to work. Ask the home what they want you to do. Maybe they rather you take him to a common area, visit shortly and then leave. Them taking over from there. I would not visit for a day or two. He needs to be allowed to adjust and get use to the staff doing for him. When u do visit, don't visit for more than an hour. I used to go before a meal. Once they got Mom seated and dinner in front of her, I left.

我之前已经说过了，我会再说一遍 *：涉及痴呆时，每个人都会失去。遭受痛苦和家人的人：没有人没有痛苦或内在动荡。痴呆症使我们所有人对一切都感到良好。您的父亲可能会“更好”与您同住，但是将他带到那里正在摧毁您。与孩子一起生活必须为所有参与的人工作，否则它对没有人有用。一旦痴呆症进入某个阶段，通常将不可能继续进行家庭护理。那时，记忆护理辅助生活成为唯一的自然选择。这是完美的吗？不，当然不是。但是痴呆症是问题，别无其他。 In a perfect world, it wouldn't exist. It wouldn't rob us of our parent to begin with and put us in this awful position! But it does exist, unfortunately, along with cancer and brain tumors and all the rest of the horrible diseases that go along with old age and being human. And since we're not medical doctors and cannot take care of elders 24/7 single-handedly, managed care becomes the only sane solution.

在reality, Memory Care is a safe, controlled environment for the elders where they get to socialize and do activities which are geared for them specifically. They get 3 hot meals a day and 3 snacks; they get 24/7 care by teams of caregivers and nurses who check on them all the time. They pick them up when they fall and they hand out all of their meds on a schedule. The stigma we attach to managed care residences is ridiculous, in truth. They exist for a reason b/c they fill an enormous need.

Drop dad off at his new home, kiss him goodbye & say see you later, dad. Then visit him often once he's settled in. Don't create a crisis for him by showing him you're upset or sad, etc. Be upbeat and smiling the whole time. He'll be fine.

我母亲自2019年6月以来一直在记忆护理中生活，并且在那里做得很好。自从她在2011年出售以来，她一直没有自己的家。这只是痴呆症。他们希望及时回到一个更好的地方，他们还年轻。我很高兴她安全且受到良好的照顾。当我拜访她的b/c时，我很难过，这是一种压力很大的经历，因为她的痴呆症诚实地进入了不幸的兔子洞。同样，当痴呆症涉及时，我们所有人都失去了，不是吗？:(

Wishing you the best of luck accepting what is, and your father the best of luck acclimating to his new home.

It’s the hardest thing in the world to do … much more so if LO aware … but you need to be honest I think .. tell them it’s not safe for them at home and it’s too hard for you to take care of him properly at home.
find best place possible … visit everyday … bring favorite food and snacks presents .. when you do that your husband will be assured you
haven’t abandoned him and you’ll both look forward to dignified visits as man and wife and not dependent
无助的生气男人和精疲力尽的愤怒的照料者。您的丈夫将举办良好的管理社会化活动，而不是在屋子里孤立。
您将活跃于他的照顾中……与员工友好，还有更多的事情。家里有3个班次
whereas at home there’s you 24/7 or even if you get lots help at home … they’re rarely good and he’s still isolated….
there are no good options here
好运

My problem is that I am still at the point when home is best for him, but not for me. Seven years of this can get depressing. I was very well at the beginning, but I have aged in these sever years, while he has been getting worse.

在teresting question. Right now my sister is in a newer AL center that has that colonial look. I have often wondered if a small, more home like atmosphere would have been better. She has adjusted as best she can. Doesn't interact like I had hoped because of her dementia. Most of the seniors there are still very much independent, some still have a car. But with dementia, they are separated from the others in their own wing. Does the smaller facility have an adequate staff and do they have plenty of experience with dementia residents? The small, home like center I looked at did not have the ability to care if the patient was not mobile or only semi mobile. As his dementia advances, he like others may decide one day to just walk away. My sister thought she was going for a job interview. Another time she "had a friend" that she was moving with to an apartment. This was before her med regimen and she is much better but she most likely will never have the freedom she had. She is in the lock-down wing. I guess you just have to decide what their staff, facilities and services are in comparison and how secure it is for a dementia patient compared to the newer facility and if it has all the permits to operate. In the end, I believe he will adjust in time to either place.

较小和祖国的选择对我妈妈真的很好。她最终编造了一个故事，说明为什么她买了我放置她的房子。我在前廊周围有一个包裹，她一年四季都坐在那里，看着附近的行列。您的问题似乎是关于实际上带您的父亲在那里。.我有家庭护理女人和我们一起安顿下来。我们和她一起坐在妈妈自己的房子里大约一个小时，说服她去尝试。我们俩都和她住了几个小时，向她展示了一切。我们已经秘密地移动了她的所有东西，甚至已经最喜欢的椅子。接下来的三天我们中的一个回去了几次。她感到困惑，但开始结交朋友，她每天都不记得她。她最终喜欢在那里，即使通过covid锁定窗户的访问也很轻松有趣。 When it was time for memory care I found another home like place for her. It was the nursing home that was awful, where she had to go after her fall. It was like a hospital. But I managed to get her to a smaller place, a house, before she died. The place you chose will not be a "dump" to your dad. It will be familiar and he will get used to it and most likely be happier.

将其视为他的“度假屋”或“单身汉”。大多数地方将使一些居民与家人一起探访。给他大约一个月的时间，以适应新的环境和新的例程。您正在这样做是一种爱的行为 - 确保他受到良好的照顾。