I am 71 and she is 87. She has dementia, severe congestive heart failure, kidney issues and severe pulmonary hypertension. The doctors have signed the healthcare power of attorney and are recommending skilled nursing and memory care. She has the funds for patient pay and I am her power of attorney and now am in charge of her health care decisions. She blames me for "locking her up in a home." My wife has limited mobility. I am in reasonably good health but worry that between dealing with the disposition of my sister's home and belongings and my own family duties I may not be able to support my own family and properly support my sister's needs. I know many reading this have travelled this path and I'm just hoping to hear suggestions on how to serve these challenges. Thanks!

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I hope you do not feel guilty about this decision. We do what we have to. She will adjust. Its her Dementia talking. You will never be able to reason with her that her health problems are beyond your care. Your wife is #1. Your family is #1. There will not be much u have to do but visit. All her needs will be met. I was so happy I no longer had to find the best price for Depends. You can just visit and you should so staff knows there is someone watching.

Selling the house is not that hard. You place it in the hands of a Realtor and they do the work. The big job is cleaning it out. For me, my brother took what he wanted and I got rid of the rest. I called Habitat for humanity and they took the furniture. I either gave away or donated things like kitchen stuff and nick nacks. Pictures and important papers I took home and went thru. I did a room at a time. Starting with what I considered trash and moving on to the other stuff. It will seem overwhelming at first but once you getting going it all goes pretty well.

Her clothes...she won't need much. Mom it was a weeks supply of tops and slacks. (Find out the laundry schedule) Easy slip ons and not more than 2 prs. I kept the clothes out of season at my house in under the bed boxes. My Mom went up and down in weight so I had 2 sizes of clothes. Your sister will need no dresses for Church. I kept one really nice outfit for Mom for her to be buried in.
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Your sister is angry and is depressed and is grieving one more loss on the road of aging. She has a right to grieve. What she doesn't have a right to is blaming you. You need simply to acknowledge her grief and her pain, tell her that you understand her losses and her pain as they are already familiar to you and becoming more so. Tell her you will do the best you are able to do for her with her safety coming first, that you would never abandon her but that this is sadly the best you can do for her.
Not everything has a happy answer. That is true throughout life, not only now. Not everything can be fixed. Just be sure not to add the other G-word to the equation, guilt--because that isn't appropriate. You aren't a felon. You are a bro doing your best you can for your Sister. I am so sorry, and sometimes, sorry is the only word we have in any situation.
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Bring in help.

Find a Realtor who specializes in estates. There are lots of them who'll take care of setting up an estate sale, painting and doing minor repairs, and selling the house. They get paid back from the proceeds of the house.

This is what my brother-in-law has done as a Realtor for years, and he does it almost exclusively for family members tasked with selling the house (or inherited it) rather than the actual homeowner. They do nothing and let him do all the work.
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Tell her the doctors say she needs to be there to get better. The more she accepts help, the better off she'll be.
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