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My husband’s dementia continues its daily thefts and I continue my daily reassessments of what is and is not mine to do. Our schedule, such as it is, is mostly around getting the ADL’s done. How much of my job as a caregiver is also about keeping him entertained? I haven’t found anything that works on that account.


我似乎是他唯一的锚,他认为他till is, so I try to be present with him as much as possible — moved my desk so we can be in the same room while I work on taxes, etc.. He looks to me for answers, direction, help, etc. But he also spends an inordinate amount of time sitting in his recliner, looking at junk mail, perusing magazines, reading the occasional Wall Street Journal article on his iPad, looking at his photos (some of which have mysteriously inserted porno poses into our family’s memory collection. He may comment on how interesting an article was, but of course is unable to tell me anything he read. He does not like cards, board games, jigsaw puzzles, brain teasers, etc. Watching TV together is mostly him staring at the screen in between dozes. He doesn’t seem to follow the storyline, but does seem to enjoy having something going on that accepts his attention without requiring anything of him in return.


我的问题是,我真的需要多少社会主任和活动计划?现在这对我来说是最令人沮丧的部分。

寻找护理和住房
我不知道理想的答案,但我和母亲在同一条船上,你的问题与我很有响起!除非我坐在她旁边并与她一起做旁边,否则她对谜题没有兴趣或任何东西。我在精神上得到了,现在通过穿上Ytube视频来说,甚至是为了她的ytube视频,确保她没有搞砸洗手间和其他ADL

The bottomline, according to this forum, is to make sure your husband is safe, clean and comfortable. So by that measure, you don't need to be the social director but I'm social director for mom so that I get a break, I can do my chores around the house and she's not following me, looking for me or talking gibberish or wondering when the next meal is (even tho' she's well fed and gets plenty of nutrition).

祝你好运!
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Reply to wearynow
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我的妈妈一个激情是阅读和痴呆症停止了。她和我是游戏玩家,卡片球员或谜题。所以不是我要坐下来,与痴呆症的人一起坐下来,他们的注意力跨度大约是一分钟。是的,我没有耐心。对我来说,他们都不放松我。染色?哦,上帝,我希望当我变老时,他们不会要求我的颜色。我知道,我的女孩会有问题。

I am not an entertainer. I told my grandson that MomMom bakes cookies but I don't play. My girls knew that too. I made sure they had what they needed to create (both artistic, Mom not) but they did the work themselves. So what did my Mom do, sit in her area and watch TV, which she rarely did at home. We went out to dinner most nights and usually found someone she knew to talk to. Eventually, though, she was getting no stimulation at my house. I placed her in an AL where she walked the hall (went in a square and always ended up in the common area) had socialization, activities and entertainment. She seemed much happier.
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回复Joann29.
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以下是您可能考虑的几个想法。我父亲现在已经过去了,但我们有类似的问题。他有一个窗户,他可以从他的卧室里看到,所以我们推出鸟类饲养者 - 他喜欢看着他们。如果你有空间,请尝试放入鱼缸。观察非常治疗和有趣。音乐总是很好。爸爸每天都想要这篇论文,虽然它得到了他没有再遵循的地方;这更像是他的习惯。我们每周都会让他们的狗停下来,他喜欢它。即使有了晚年,他也在抱着或与狗一起活着。 Sometimes I just sat with him and listened to music or watched tv. He slept off/on but was glad when I was around. It’s tough- but we do the best we can with grace & love in our heart. Good luck and thank you for being there- that’s most important!
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回复Dadsgurl.
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我有一个类似的问题。我妈妈的床上且视力低。

I keep the TV on for her, she can listen to her favorite channel & music channels. She can call the dog to her bed & drop the dog a biscuit, but she can't reach the dog to pet her due to partial paralysis. I tell her anecdotes about cute things the dog has done lately.

We don't have family left to visit, and her friends have all passed on, so no visitors that way.

She complains about not being entertained. But, sleeps off and on all day. It's a very difficult situation. And, I believe it's very common.

我所做的一件事是“有趣的新闻”。我读或看到的电脑上会找到一些有趣的或奇怪的东西 - 并将告诉她。她真的很喜欢。有时候我过去遇到的FB上的一个朋友会询问她,或者在他们的生活中有一些有趣的事情。我也告诉她这一点。

When I prepare meals (her hospital bed is in the living room) I'll sit and chat with her during meal prep, etc.
I try to chat a bit whenever I see her & she's awake.
当她问道时,我也会把她放在她的霍尔升降机上并将她抬到轮椅上,但我很难自己做。她无法自己移动轮椅,但这是她对她的速度的变化。

She also has digital audio books from The Library for The Blind but doesn't listen to them too often anymore.

猜猜我们可以做的更多,我们可以自己招待自己,除非他们能够离开房子或走在花园里等行走等事情。因为安全是护理的最大问题。
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回复薰衣草队
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你看过成年人的待遇吗?
它会给他一天的事情,它会给你一个休息。
A caregiver that comes in 2, 3 or more times a week can keep him occupied and do some tasks around the house that will help you.
他还有一周左右的朋友会来参观一小时吗?他会做事要帮助你吗?
排序袜子,折叠毛巾,灰尘,洗碗吗?他仍然可以做的任何事情都会为你做出更少的工作是奖金。如果意味着你必须再次做这项工作,不要再给他一项任务,因为它要么没有完成你想要的方式,或者他做了一团糟。
( if you do hire caregivers, or if you allow him to help with some things put it in your mind that as long as it is done it means less that you have to do even if it is not done exactly the way you would do it. If they don't fold the towels exactly the way you do does it matter as long as they are folded and fit on the shelf where they are supposed to go?)

和一个侧面笔记......只要他仍然可以起床,去散步,你可以与他谈话利用这一点。忘了洗厨房地板或做额外的洗衣。享受你现在拥有的他,它可能会在下周走,那么你将有更多的时间来做地板和洗衣房。随着每次下降,他都会稍微忽略他,每次下降都会带来改变。你可以哀叹他不能再做的事情,或者你可以在他仍然可以做的事情上愉快。有点玻璃是痴呆症的半空版本。
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回复Grandma1954.
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Ioanna Sep 2, 2021
What a wonderful reply! How kind you are.
(1)
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I hired a companion caregiver for my 99-yr old aunt with mod/adv dementia and nearly immobile, with not-so-great vision and this lady was awesome for 6 years. She drove her around and chatted with her, took her for walks, etc. Now my aunt is a fall risk so we had to go to a differently qualified aid, but this one also keeps her busy. My aunt still knows how to play a certain card game fairly well (and we do allow her to go by her own rules sometimes) and Rummy-Q. A few years ago I bought several DVDs of her favorite musicals but she couldn't seem to follow the story line and sometimes became alarmed if there was any violence or "bad things happening" in them, BUT fast forward to this past year and now she watches them every day with the closed caption words on the screen -- she keeps up by reading the dialogue. We also ask her to help us with "chores": she folds towels and sorts socks and plastic utensils and things that we put in front of her. Your husband can do this too: it gives him a sense of purpose and you are not directly entertaining him. He can sort or pair nuts and bolts, put together Duplo blocks following a pattern that you draw up (and there is no wrong way for him to assemble it), he can chop veggies, cut old t-shirts into rags, etc. He can do the same takes multiple times a day if he doesn't remember doing them the first time. A bird feeder is usually very entertaining placed where he sits most often. Fish tanks are too much work for YOU unless you hire a service to maintain it.

或者您是否考虑过成人的日托选项?他每天都不必去,但你肯定需要休息。你没有义务填补他的每一个醒着的时刻。关于他的互联网接入的一个警告:这是诈骗者和手中的网关(色情可能是你的最少的问题) - 所以我会确保你开始监控或结束他的访问。我92岁的老妈妈在她每天玩“脑比赛”时,她有一个订阅卢克斯,或者在她的平板电脑上玩卡或瓷砖游戏。

One thing to keep in mind is that what he likes to do can change as his dementia progresses. My 85-yr old bed-bound MIL with mild dementia in LTC was actually reading a novel when we went to visit her the other day. In all the years I knew her she never once read a book, not even to her grandkids. We were so shocked -- and she was really enjoying it, said she couldn't put it down.

祝你找到占据他的东西的成功,所以你可以得到一些和平。
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Reply to Geaton777
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I have a similar situation with my MIL. I really do feel like her “events coordinator” because she has no hobbies, and has so few interests.

Now, right now our routine is shot as I’m in the hospital being caregiver to my dad who suffered a brain bleed, but once I go home again and life returns to some sense of normal, a routine is the first thing I establish.

她也喜欢公司。我真的不像是她的娱乐。只是...公司。有人偶尔会谈,如果她需要任何东西,我就在那里。我们坐在凉亭外面,我在我的电脑上工作,她只是享受新鲜空气和音乐。我买了她的报纸(她曾经喜欢阅读),但我发现她无法理解她的阅读了,所以我可能会尝试一些复古杂志(从60年代)看,看看她是否找到了那些更有趣的话。

I think we look at their life and imagine that we would be bored out of our skulls, but (I don’t know about your husband), but my MIL doesn’t seem particularly bored. I don’t think they need the same amount of stimulation that we do. I’ve talked to her new PSW that will be starting in a few weeks, and she’ll take my MIL to the mall once a week in the morning to get a coffee and look at the shops. Just something different to do.

祝你好运。
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Reply to Lizbitty
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是的 Sep 2, 2021
Liz,好的Ole的日子和重新谋取是伟大的杂志,短篇小说已经消失了。你甚至可以得到大打印。

希望你能找到她可以遵循的东西。
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一个朋友的母亲有阿尔茨海默,她爸爸雇了两个人来到房子,每天都和妈妈一起做活动,以保持她的刺激。在某种程度上,它似乎在某种程度上努力,她的阿尔茨海默氏症在大多数人期待的节奏中没有进展。然而,这也意味着她现在已经拥有了超过10年的阿尔兹,他们可以说她正在扮演数千场拼字游戏和苏地区的比赛。

也许雇用你丈夫每天几个小时的伴侣可以帮助,或者是成年日托或高级中心。
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回复MJ1929
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Save the magazines and junk mail to be reused over and over. Since those things still occupy his time, use them. Whatever he selects to do on his own, let that happen. It may occupy his time and yours.
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Reply to my2cents
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我不确定需要多少娱乐,只要他的福祉至少关注。

曾经是一个流行的海报与标题“有时我坐在并思考,有时我刚刚坐着。”在我看来,一些老年人,也许是愿景和听力损失,我们认为必须无聊地尖叫分散注意力,实际上是与他们的思想独自一人的内容。我肯定认为,我们的无聊阈值往往会增加多年(与我们的耐受性滋扰阈值相反,也许)。
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Reply to Countrymouse
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