APS已经被我的弟弟,叫7次last 4 years after being removed as POA because he called them after my mom and dad got into a fight about selling the ranch. After that he was deemed unfit for the POA job. Our parents have been together for 68 years and my father just passed away at 87. He was also caught telling her she has Alzheimer's. Is this appropriate behavior? I am working hard to keep my mom in her home. He called the police the other day like he is building a legal case. So much time and energy diverted from helping her.

Find Care & Housing
And this is why we see questions on this forum such as "my sibling will not let me see my dying parent". That is because the sibling took over. The OP should probably see an attorney for a cease and desist. While at it maybe guardianship. After all the OP sees the abuse and chooses to do nothing but post on this forum. It can escalate for the state to take over as well.

Before my mom's money loss became worse, I had to get guardianship. I did have POA but the document was not comprehensive enough to deal with banks. Artgirl11, one day you may find that your brother convinces your mom and takes her to the bank to create a joint acoount and credit card. Once willing, and convinced this happens a lot.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MACinCT


I will add, it is common for adult children to disagree on future care arrangements for their parents.

It can get polorised into 'keep Mom at home' vs 'Mom needs to move into care'.

There are always reasons driving those views. There vary as the day is long; move to 24/7 care required (viewed as ranch stealers by others?) to heartwarming wishes to keep Mom happy (viewed as dreamers by others?)

Can I ask:
Is there a diagnosis of Alzeimer's Disease?

Let's start there. With how your Mom really is.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Beatty

I'd call it abuse. It's taking advantage of a vulnerable adult, which is also a crime.

Is her Alzheimer's documented? If it is, any POA she'd assign at this point wouldn't be valid as she isn't competent to assign it to anyone. The fact that he's on tape telling her she has Alzheimer's is all the more damning for him as it shows he knows she's not competent and is trying to coerce her.

He's not the brightest bulb in the family chandelier, is he?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MJ1929

Perhaps it's time to get an injunctive order to keep your brother from contact with your mother. The quickest way is to hire an attorney to assist you in applying for a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order), which may not require a hearing (depends on your jurisdiction and laws). It could provide that he not have any personal, physical, phone, mail, e-mail, texting or other contact with her. It also would establish boundary lines, such as no contact within 100 feet (or some other measurement) from her house.

An attorney could help guide you through the restrictive options, and whether to ask for any additional restrictions, as well as at the courthouse where you'd have to go to get the order. When we got one, we didn't have any hearing, just met with the TRO rep, who took the Petition to the Judge while we waited. The Judge did make a few changes, but we got the TRO signed.

A sheriff made service. You can't (and wouldn't want to) make service yourself.

You'd have to check with either a local District Court or County as to which has jurisdiction.

An alternative is more complicated and perhaps less likely to result in what you seek. Filing a Petition, attending a hearing, and presenting the matter to a judge would not only be more costly, but there's a likelihood the judge may rule against protection. And the hearing could be explosive, if your brother shows up (he would be required to when he's served with a true copy of the Petition).

If you can find get any police reports from past meddling, that would help. If they're several years old, the question may be raised as to whether or not your brother has changed, so think about and discuss with an attorney what documentation would be required.

The video would definitely provide supportive evidence.

You might raise with the attorney whether or not there are also grounds for you to get a protective order yourself, and how to protect your mother's assets from any kind of theft or other nefarious activity.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to GardenArtist

Ask a Question
Subscribe to