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The only place my husband drives is to the golf course and back, less than three miles from our house, only two turns. But as I watch him pull out of the driveway, I know it is only a matter of time before there's an accident. He can't back down the driveway without difficulty. This morning was especially bad -- I'll be inspecting his bumper and passenger side when he gets home. He ran over a stone border and scraped a dogwood tree that is a good three feet off of the driveway. He no longer understands how to direct the vehicle when backing up.


我的son says I need to call the doctor and ask him to rescind his license but it seems to me there has to be something more than just my word. I know it is awful to say this, but just one documented seizure would at least get him off the road for six months. I suspect he has had some small breakthrough seizures, but nothing I can actually document.


I'd appreciate your thoughts. And yes, I've already told myself the whole "what if he runs into someone else" scenarios, so we don't need to rehash that. Can I just tell the doctor his license needs to be rescinded? He puts on such a darn good show for the doctor that I'm not sure he'd believe me.

Doctors don't take away licenses but can give diagnosis of cognitive or physical issues which would make driving impaired and create a letter which can then be sent by you to the DMV. I didn't need to do this in my situation.

在某些状态下,您可以匿名在线在线报告,以便您的案件为什么不应该开车。我用我的姨妈做到了这一点。我给了他们许可证,她的健康和身体问题的副本,以及如何对别人和自己的危险的多种具体例子。国家发出一封信告诉她进来参加视力检查和道路测试。她说服了我的堂兄带她去约会,但没有考试。那就是这样。

在your case I would suggest that if he golfs with any buddies, that you ask them to please come pick him up so that losing the privilege is less devastating. Tell them to not tell your husband you've asked them to do it. Reward them with a gift card to a restaurant where they can go out and have a nice social time together, or gc to the golf course.

当你报告你的丈夫,如果他收到这封信,不要向他展示。让他的许可证到期。从场所取下汽车(不仅仅是钥匙)并告诉他你开车,它崩溃了,在商店里。确保朋友和邻居自由地知道不会向他借给他们的汽车。

我的step-FIL had Parkinsons and I think his social worker reported him and we took the van away permanently. One benefit is that there's no more insurance payment or maintenance expenses.

如果你努力让他脱离路,那么他拉出车道的分钟致电911你可以将他作为一个不安全的司机报告,如果他有过期的许可证,那么会有后果。我的叔叔应该让他的车被他的成年孩子带走,但没有人有勇气做到这一点。有一天,他经历了红灯,杀了他的妻子(癌症幸存者)和他们的狗,伤害了其他人。所以请尽快采取行动 - 我知道这是紧张的,但它很重要,他尽快离开道路。谢谢!
乐于助人Answer (6)
回复Geaton777.
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graygrammie 2021年8月27日
His buddies picked him up the summer of 2018 when his license was suspended due to seizures. But those buddies are no longer buddies. As he puts it, he no longer golfs well enough for them to want to play with him. The flip side is, from my perspective, they were tired of his attitude. You can only take being preached at so long. He just renewed his license in April so, if the doctors are right, he will be dead before it expires.
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见2个回复
我会联系DMV或继续行驶,了解您需要做些什么,以使他的许可证撤销。
It is not easy.
You should have a doctors note or diagnosis that can prove the dementia diagnosis.
是很难让他“得到”that he can no longer drive. And it is going to be difficult for you as well having to be the "uber" driver in the house.
A word of advice though. If you do get the license removed and he is no longer driving do not remove him from your insurance police just in case he gets hold of the keys and drives off. You might need that insurance coverage.
你有2辆车吗?如果是这样的“他”应该尽快禁用或从属性中删除。事实上,如果你能让某人“借用”它,那么它就会有“细分”,这可能是一种让它远离视线的方式。然后它可以“在商店里”。如果你不能让别人借用它,如果你确实注意到伤害有人接受并告诉他它是在车身店进行维修。如果他们必须订购零件,那可能需要很长时间。
Lock keys to your car so he can not get to them.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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graygrammie 2021年8月27日
I've been the driver since 2012. He had an incident in my new-to-me van that I think shook him up enough to allow me to do all the driving. He still insists he can drive whenever we go anywhere and I tell him nope. His mind is still too sharp to trick him with any fibs.

But even our mechanic (just one mile away) will not allow him to drive onto the lot any more since Jim had two incidents with hitting things (pile of tires once and another car the last time). He comes to our house now and picks up our cars when they need work.
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You report this to the DMV through a form that you fill out and send in. They will require him to come in for testing to see if he can retain his license.
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回复是斯坦斯利利的
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Be prepared for the doctor to be less than helpful, especially if your husband appears reasonably articulate and aware during the visit. In the case of my father (glaucoma, macular degeneration, major hearing loss) he managed not only to convince the doctor that he could drive but passed his vision test for his driver's license renewal (for 10 years at over 90 years old). No driving test was needed but he arrived at the DMV with his cane, dark glasses and didn't hear his number called. I was finally the bad guy and basically took the keys and car away from him. Major drama ensued. I got the car sold (ugly story) and told him I'd drive him wherever he needed to go. Losing driving privileges is never pretty but you have to just rip that bandaid and get it over with. It doesn't get easier by waiting.
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Reply to jkm999
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graygrammie 2021年8月27日
Yeah, it wasn't pretty when he was suspended for six months due to seizures in 2018. That's why I don't want to be the bad guy. I want the doctor to take the necessary steps.
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打电话给医生,“丢失”他的钥匙。“我的话,亲爱的!我不知道那些钥匙的位置!“然后在你可以在某个地方开车时找到它们。

在事情发生之前,你非常担心并拉动插头。
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Reply to Lizbitty
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公共安全比DH的感受或态度无限更重要。告诉他他的驾驶日结束了。隐藏钥匙,禁用,或者更好,卖掉他的汽车并将他的现金交给他。与DMV一起撤销他的DL,所以他不能买另一个。

It’s critical that you keep him from driving before he kills himself or someone else.

If he wants to travel independently, he can order a taxi, Uber, or Lyft.
乐于助人Answer (5)
Reply to ventilatte707
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希望到现在,您已经能够弄清楚让您的丈夫停止驾驶的方法,但是如果您没有,我将在当地的杂货店停车场中重述最近的一集。一名老年人,仅仅是家里的街区,击中了两辆车和一个行人,因为他们拔出停车位。行人被杀了。司机离开了现场,因为他们没有意识到他们所做的事情。你的丈夫撞到了石边界和山茱萸树。现在替代'山茱萸树'这个词,看看你是否认为句子是不同的。
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Reply to jkm999
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Hello, and I'll be responding as a driver that's so close to giving up the privilege of driving. I'm Sara, I'm 72, I'm lost sight in one eye, and losing sight in the other. I've been driving for 52 years, no accidents, one speeding ticket. I love to drive - it's the feeling of independence, unbound, free as a bird. I now drive on the roads I'm familiar with, and sometimes, I'm nervous about that. I've driven everything from a Harley to an 18 wheeler, cross country, licensed for all of them - and I'm scared to sit down in my small SUV, and start it up. I feel if I give up my privilege to drive - taken away or voluntary- I will have lost a huge chunk of my life. Driving is such an integral part of everyday living, so I more than understand the stubborn of not giving up. It's like admitting defeat. That's very, very hard to do. I am there, and it's breaking my heart. They have my sympathy... Sara.
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Reply to Jazzy1349
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csarah40 Aug 31, 2021
Sara,

I am in my 60's and I have had trouble with my vision throughout the pandemic. I finally got into an appointment with the eye specialist. I have a cataract in my right eye, and it can be fixed with surgery. Since the surgery will greatly change my right eye, I also will need surgery on my left eye.

Dusing the pandemic I was so concern about going blind it took me a long time to get myself to a doctor, but I also developed dry eye and that hurts.

You did not mention what your diagnosis is.
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Call DMV in your area and make an anonymous report. This will generate your husband to turn in his medical history. Do not tell him you called anyone. Just let DMV handle the process. Try to take him to an interview appointment and bring pictures or video on the way he parks or drives the car.
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Reply to csarah40
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这太难了。很多好的建议。我的Dad’s doctor was no help. And my Dad always rose to the occasion admirably at the doctor’s appointment. My brother and I finally reported him anonymously to the DMV. And was he furious? Oh yeah, he was. Luckily he never figured who it was who reported him before he passed. But he suspected. This situation is so stressful. All the best and much luck!
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