我妹妹说我住在郊区。我们的妈妈公关efers to stay home (at my house where she lives). My sister wants mom to come stay with her some. My mom doesn’t want to but my sister gets her feelings hurt and in return (unintentionally I’m sure) my sister hurts my mom’s feelings saying things like “I guess you don’t like my house, or seeing me, or seeing my grandkids" so to avoid all this I try not to ask my sister for anything. But lately mom has had more problems and health issues and I don’t want to leave her home alone. My husband and I were wanting to go on a trip for 6 days. I asked my sister if there was anyway she could come stay with mom at our house. My sister said she would rather mom stay with her. I feel stuck in the middle. I have tried several times to explain to my sister that our mom would rather be at home with her room, bed, lift chair, bathroom, stuff etc but my sister feels mom should be as comfortable going back and forth as just staying at my house and my sister takes it personal that mom feels like this. My mom doesn’t help the situation because she doesn’t want to hurt my sisters feelings and have my sister get upset so mom will give in and go stay with my sister if I need her to. Anyone else deal with these issues with siblings? Thanks
I understand that there might be some logistical considerations with moving mom to your sister's home, but it's six days! Unless mom is in deep, deep dementia, take your sister up on her kind and generous offer, pack a bag for mom and go on your much needed vacation! Because if you keep balking at the offer, eventually your sister is going to take it off the table, and then you're looking at a facility for mom if you need respite. And if she's balking at going to her other child's home, how do you think she'll respond to a nursing home or similar facility for respite for you?
Mom isn't the only one that matters and she needs to go to your sisters house for you to get a break.
Your mother as well as your sister can get an idea of how things may go with sister as carer and sister’s house without all the arrangements. You and sister might arrange to get the lift, commode, whatever, transferred between the houses for the respite period, or to hire anything essential.
But it’s not a good idea to work on the basis that mother can’t be moved out of your house!
Your sister WANTS your mom in her home. Imagine if nobody did.