My mom has lived with me for 4 years. My sister lives 35-45 minutes away from me and feels like it’s too far for her. Can anyone relate?

Sorry if I sound blunt, but if this is the worst "issue" you have with your sibling, you should get down on your knees and thank whatever greater being you believe in.

您是否知道这里有多少人会给他们的兄弟姐妹提供，以便将父母带到常规基础上，以便主要CG可以得到急需的休息？

I understand that there might be some logistical considerations with moving mom to your sister's home, but it's six days! Unless mom is in deep, deep dementia, take your sister up on her kind and generous offer, pack a bag for mom and go on your much needed vacation! Because if you keep balking at the offer, eventually your sister is going to take it off the table, and then you're looking at a facility for mom if you need respite. And if she's balking at going to her other child's home, how do you think she'll respond to a nursing home or similar facility for respite for you?

说实话,我觉得你妈妈需要更多accommodating . Your sister is offering to take your mom so you can get a break. Many on this site would kill for a sibling to offer that. Mom had no medical reason to need to be at your place other than she prefers it. Your sister is offering to help and it would be easier for her to do this at her home rather than move into yours. Take her up on her offer

I am a firm believer that the person NEEDING the care, needs to be flexible and accommodate the caregiver, especially when it is a freebie.

Mom isn't the only one that matters and she needs to go to your sisters house for you to get a break.

让高级演出的演出是为什么护理人员穿上nubs的原因。

Bending over backwards to accommodate your mother's 'preferences' is unnecessary at this point! It's a privilege for her to be living with you AND to have her other daughter inviting her to stay at her home as well. You have every right to go on a well deserved vacation and to have your mother go stay at your sister's home, so don't give her a choice in the matter. Mother, we're leaving on vacation from X date to X date & you'll be going over to Susie's house where you'll have a wonderful time and a change of pace. In fact, we're going to make arrangements for you to have a lovely visit with Susie every X amount of time so you can get used to living in both homes, won't that be GRAND? Your sister should not have to disrupt her entire life to come live in your home so mother can have her way, that makes no sense at all!

在游戏的这个阶段给长老的选择太多只会使他们感到困惑。将这两个房屋视为她的新生活安排，这是一件很棒的事情。如果您的姐姐需要购买一些物品来满足母亲与她在一起时的需求，那么她会得知母亲住宿的时候。

每个妈妈都应该很幸运能够玩这种情况！

My sister and I shared “custody “( our phrase ) of my mom for 8 years . My mom passed away at 98 in 2020. We made sure my mom was equally as comfortable in both homes with all the necessities that she loved and needed. As the years went on , if we didn’t have each other and this set up , my mom would have had to go into a nursing home . We made that clear to her because it would have been too hard for one person . Of course , we were blessed that my mom could make the switch , on a regular basis . The only time she stayed at one home was when she wasn’t feeling well and /or was recovering from a hospital stay . It worked for us and our beloved mom was able to live with us till her death .

我重读了你的文章,以确保acc读取它urately. You say”… so mom will give in and go stay with my sister if I need her to.“ My question to you is: Who exactly is stopping Mom from going to sister’s house? We all make sacrifices when we travel and stay in strange places. That is why it feels so good to come home. You have 6+ people affected by this decision. If you don’t go on vacation, your husband loses out on a vacation. If you do go on vacation, and your sister comes to your home to care for mom, her children and spouse lose a vital member of their family. Their lives are disrupted as they will lose the normal caregiving of a mother and, most importantly, her presence and TLC. That is a lot to ask of children and spouse. If you do go on vacation, and mom stays with sister, mom loses the comfort of home and familiar surroundings. But she gains the love of extended family and will get to know her grandchildren much better. She will have a team of people looking after her. If the lift chair is so vital, then that can be brought to sister’s house or one can be purchased and kept at sister’s house. There is another positive to your mom traveling to sister’s house. You and your spouse will get much needed time alone. The care of an elderly relative is always there and having a break does a tremendous amount for mental health and emotional well-being. Your husband needs it as much as you need it. You said your mother is needing more help. As she ages, she is going to need more and more and more help. The more family members you have on your caregiving team, the better it is for all. No family member will feel overburdened. Please stop and think deeply about why you are reluctant to send mom over to your sister’s house. Is it really your mom who doesn’t want to go or you who doesn’t want her to go? Your sister is being very generous in offering you regular respite from your mother’s care giving. She is willing to disrupt her family and bring mom in. It shows how much your sister loves your mom and how much she loves you.

To get out of the middle stop discussing one with the other. And yes, you need regular breaks to keep this up, I hope you’ll take advantage of what your sister is offering. If she can’t handle mom’s needs in her home, she will find this out on her own

I can understand CM’s comments, although I can’t remember reading a post on here where falls have been the result of respite in another house. It might be a good idea to ask your sister to come and spend a day at your place with mother, so that she can get a better idea of the arrangements that she is used to. That means you go out (a day’s respite isn’t all bad) so that you don’t end up doing the tricky bits yourself.

Your mother as well as your sister can get an idea of how things may go with sister as carer and sister’s house without all the arrangements. You and sister might arrange to get the lift, commode, whatever, transferred between the houses for the respite period, or to hire anything essential.

But it’s not a good idea to work on the basis that mother can’t be moved out of your house!

任何人都宁愿在自己的家中度过时光，而不是陌生的环境，但是在这种情况下，我认为您应该去度假，让母亲与姐姐在一起。这不是世界的尽头。您的妈妈将与其他女儿和孙子们度过爱，美好的时光，反之亦然。您的姐姐会学到很多有关她所需的护理的知识，并可能购买物品，以使她的下一个停留更加舒适。在旅途中，您将获得迫切需要的喘息，并可能打开更多的门！这实际上只是“放手”的问题。

Sorry, but I don't see that you have an issue. You are blessed to have a sister that will have mom come stay with her so you can get away. Over and over again people post on here about not being able to get away because nobody is willing to help. If your mom agrees to it, apparently it's not all that bad for mom. Sure, she is more comfortable at your home where she lives most of the time and will be glad to get back home again, just like you will be glad to get home after your vacation.

Your sister WANTS your mom in her home. Imagine if nobody did.