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just found this forum and decided to write about my situation. I am an only child and both my parents have Alzheimer's (mother has dementia) my parents were living in their house together until last Saturday. I have been taking care of them for over 3 years, driving back and forth from my home to theirs almost every day. My parents have been married for 57 years! Starting last October, my mother started to get more confused and wanted to go home, (she was already home) my dad would hold her back so she would not leave in the middle of the night. She would get upset and bite him! ( she wasn’t recognizing him) it got worse and I had to put her in a home.


自从她7天前被安置以来,我父亲一直是一个残骸,一直叫我30-50次!在半夜的某个时候!!!!他沮丧并告诉我,没有母亲,他不能活着!他非常焦虑,悲伤,有时会疯狂相信我没有告诉他妈妈在哪里!(我必须告诉他超过200次。我每天都有5次,每天都有5次+我每天都去!他不断地告诉我,没有我的妈妈,他不能过分拒绝住在其他地方但是家里他告诉我他会死!我现在就像我的脑子一样!

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显然,他也需要在al中。直到你停止弥补他无法做到的一切,直到任何事情都不会改变,他无法独立生活。

设置你的边界,不要继续接听电话。他正在操纵你,这取决于你,因为他不会。如果他和你的母亲一起移动,他不会死,他不能两种方式,所以现在是时候站起来了。

只有你可以阻止所有这个疯狂!祝你好运!
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
hello Dolly
谢谢你的支持。
i accept most calls but not all because he becomes extremely anxious if I don’t answer because I am his only support over the phone.
我告诉他他必须为我的妈妈强壮,但注意到与我妈妈的焦虑和压力没有在那里,他的记忆最近可能5分钟......这就是他一直叫我的原因......他问道同样的问题一遍又一遍地。我在手机旁边放了一块大纸板,让他对他的所有问题的答案向他保证,但他忘了看它!我还有一本大书也在哪里写一切,但他打电话给我验证写的东西。je不能和妈妈一起放置,因为她的需求是
different than his . To top it all off he cannot see my mom in the state he is in because I was told my mom needs to get use to her new environment for a couple weeks. She doesn’t mention my dad so she is so far very happy in the new home. She was leaving a lot of stress living with my dad because both having Elzeimer he was constantly on her case about her putting things in the wrong place and although my parents loved each other and I grew up in a very respectful family, with the disease, they had started hitting each other, that is why I had to place my mom. I was told by professionals that it is not a good idea to have them together. It is really a sad situation! Because my mom has just been placed in a home I want to make sure everything is at its best for her and although I take great care of my dad also, I feel restless about this part of the situation.
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他可以和她一起放置吗?痴呆症/ ALZ是NHS的标准。
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我希望他可以被妈妈放置。同时不接受所有这些电话。告诉爸爸你很抱歉,但没有很多选择。他可以留在家里和妈妈和妈妈一起调整或去,但没有其他选择对他或你打开,你没有时间接听电话;你会和他一起检查早晚。真的没有回答生命结束时发生的事情。非常抱歉。祝你好运。
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
你好埃尔瓦,
谢谢你的支持。
i accept most calls but not all because he becomes extremely anxious if I don’t answer because I am his only support over the phone.
我告诉他他必须为我的妈妈强壮,但注意到与我妈妈的焦虑和压力没有在那里,他的记忆最近可能5分钟......这就是他一直叫我的原因......他问道同样的问题一遍又一遍地。我在手机旁边放了一块大纸板,让他对他的所有问题的答案向他保证,但他忘了看它!我还有一本大书也在哪里写一切,但他打电话给我验证写的东西。je不能和妈妈一起放置,因为她的需求是
different than his . To top it all off he cannot see my mom in the state he is in because I was told my mom needs to get use to her new environment for a couple weeks. She doesn’t mention my dad so she is so far very happy in the new home. She was leaving a lot of stress living with my dad because both having Elzeimer he was constantly on her case about her putting things in the wrong place and although my parents loved each other and I grew up in a very respectful family, with the disease, they had started hitting each other, that is why I had to place my mom. I was told by professionals that it is not a good idea to have them together. It is really a sad situation! Because my mom has just been placed in a home I want to make sure everything is at its best for her and although I take great care of my dad also, I feel restless about this part of the situation.
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您父亲的PCP是否可以开抗焦虑药物?是否有可能将父亲放在同一个设施(不是同一个房间或翼),所以他可以和母亲一起吃饭或每天两天?我理解与家人的休息让某人调整,但自母亲做得很好,如果你认为你可以让他回家,你可能会考虑与妈妈一起午餐。

是否有一个成年人护理计划可以让爸爸走出房子(他在母亲缺席的地方,每天几个小时?
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I agree with looking into an anti anxiety agent to help him. Also placement in a different room or wing. I’m so very sorry for what you are dealing with.
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对不起,你正在处理这么多的压力。听起来你为你的妈妈找到了良好的照顾。它也听起来像你爸爸需要移动,我明白它不能和她在一起,但他的疾病进展是他不应该孤单的观点。他的思绪只是赛车,他不再有技能应对,我无法想象他的恐慌和混乱。你必须知道你不能听一个病人的人说他们拒绝移动,他需要护理和安全的环境,就像你为你妈妈找到的那样。当所有这一切都与父母身上都在你身上时,必须感到不可能,我希望你能尽快找到安全的环境。
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Place him in a different home, if he can't be placed with her. They never want to leave their home, it's natural to feel that way.
His needs are different from hers and I know it's a lot of work but if you look at both of their needs independently you will probably come up with an answer. Medication is good for the short term also, as it will help to calm him down and easier for you to place him.
如果你的妈妈想见他,那么你可以这样做,但现在寻求医生帮助你的爸爸。
祝你好运。它需要时间,但你最终会在控制下进行。
你的情况是特别具有挑战性,所以对不起。
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
T.hank you very much for your reply!
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Kayla我的母亲不得不在5年前进入一个人,经过一个严重的感染,让她完全卧床不起。我的父亲在他自己的一段时间内就可以了,但是3年后他对败血症病重病重,而医院将他放到与我母亲一样。在那之前,他一直在驾驶,每天都在看到她,直到他被医生禁止驾驶,他又赶走了他。当他进入NH的时候,他已经倾向于跌倒,我不是能够自己管理他。他也会在言上口头,有时会在身体上虐待我。

即使我每周几次看到它们,我仍然对他们不适合他们的情况非常有罪。密切关注它们并确保一切正常是必不可少的。

Is there any way in the near future you can place your father with your mother? I know things would not be manageable for my parents if that had not been possible. There are several married couples in the same nursing home each with different issues.

与此同时,看看是否有可能带父亲一旦居住,就会看到你的母亲。

这一切都是非常努力的是,你自己一切都需要尽可能多地获得帮助,并提前计划任何您可以的任何东西。

Good luck.
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
T.hank you! I appreciate your advice!
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爸爸是否采取抗焦虑med?祝你好运。您无法在晚上继续收到许多电话。
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
Hello!

我爸爸昨天刚刚开始。必须等待几天,看看他的焦虑是否下降。现在我有2名女士们与Elzeimer的人员合作,每周距离4点下午4点之间的5次,以确保他吃晚餐,服用他的药物并有公司。我有6周免费提供这项服务
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(拥抱)),正如你所说,他们不能因为身体暴力而在一起。他听起来不像他自己的生活。看看他的医生是否可以开出某些东西来让他平静下来。下次他去医院,告诉他们他不能孤单。如果他们说他们会释放他。告诉他们它将是一个“不安全的放电”。那些应该是神奇的话语。我没有必要使用它们,所以我不知道。

我的心脏跟你一起去了。((拥抱))
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Kayla1970 Feb 2020
谢谢凯瑟琳:)
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