So what I was wondering... I pay a friend $18.00 an hour to be here for respite for me. Granted she's good with mom and they get along well. She bathes her, dresses her, helps her to the chairside commode wipes her and waits on her hand and foot. Mom's supposed to be walking every two hours to help regain strength in her legs. Therapists reiterated this today with us. Also I feel mom's capable of wiping her own self! Anyway I'm seeing mom sleeping most of the day while I'm paying good money for someone to watch her SLEEP? I'm getting fed up. Yes the help does housework too couldn't ask for a better helper, just can't see continuing this farse.

cant you just go over your concerns with your friend?


she might think shes doing a great job. if you don't say anything, how can she know how you feel?

Is there any reason why your mother is not paying for this care? She should be, if she can. The caregiver is there for her benefit, not yours.

But other than that... waking or sleeping, your mother does need a reliable person in the house with her at all times, no? Don't you think she does?

I’m not certain what you mean by “farce”. Are you angry with your friend for not providing ongoing physical therapy for your mom, or are you angry with Mom for sleeping and expecting everything to be done for her?

您的朋友是训练有素的护理人员吗?当您雇用她时,您是否制定了您签署并获得律师认证的护理人员协议?您是否非常非常具体地说她与母亲的职责?听起来她确实做了很多。她照顾妈妈,也做家务。您说您不能要求一个更好的帮手,但随后您说您“厌倦了这种闹剧”。也许您需要重新完成协议,如果有一项协议,请她花更多的时间与妈妈一起做治疗,而不是打扫房子。治疗师来的时候是照顾者吗?妈妈可能正在服用使她和您的朋友安息的药物,可能会害怕让她起身走路 - 她可能会摔倒。如果您的朋友在治疗师时不在那儿,她可能会从与治疗师和一些在职培训的对话中受益。

You also have the option to hire a professional caregiver through an agency.

So I assume your mom walks to the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner and from there to the bathroom or chair or bed, does that not count? Have you asked the caregiver to take her for a walk around the block (or down the hall if in an apt), and would your mom be compliant if your friend tried?

You mention respite - usually that a term is used for a few hours per week, how much time is your mom in her care?

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